


this dream isn't feeling sweet

by explows



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:21:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7636447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explows/pseuds/explows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Again,” Kaneki breathes.</p><p>“<em>Ken</em>.” Hide comes all over himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this dream isn't feeling sweet

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is shit.

Reuniting with Hide is nostalgic. Seeing Hide reminds him of large playgrounds, sunny mornings, and big smiles. It’s refreshing. Everything about him looks almost the same, and yet so different. It’s the same shade of blond hair, but a longer length. It’s the same shade of brown eyes, but a little sadder. It’s the same wide smile, but there’s something wrong.

He’s a different person now. Kaneki guesses they both are. They’ve both changed, but Kaneki doesn’t regret coming back. It’s awkward, and he’s nervous, but Hide says a joke and suddenly it’s like Kaneki never left. It’s like nothing has changed. But things _have_ changed. A lot has.

_“Ken.”_

Hide is absolutely ruined. His hand fists the sheets under him tightly and his eyes are barely open. His face is flushed a light red and he looks – incredible.

Kaneki stills. It sounds _so good_ coming from Hide’s mouth. He loves the way his name sounds from Hide’s lips. He loves the way _anything_ sounds from Hide’s lips. He starts thrusting again, picking up his speed. Kaneki can tell Hide’s about the come from the way he bites his lip.

“Again,” Kaneki breathes.

“ _Ken_.” Hide comes all over himself.

 

“I’m sorry,” Kaneki whispers. Again, and again, and again.

“I know,” Hide whispers back. Again, and again, and again.

The pain Kaneki feels in his chest when he looks at Hide is too much. His heart won’t stop throbbing when he’s reminded of Hide’s missing arm. It’s his fault. He didn’t mean it. He’s so sorry.

“I know, Ken, I know.”

Kaneki doesn’t realise he’s been chanting apologises until Hide takes him in his arm and holds him close. Hide is so warm, so comforting. He feels like home. It feels so good to cry when Hide holds him.

 

Kaneki wishes Hide would scream at him, punch him, hurt him; do _something_ , just like everyone else has. He can see the pain in Hide’s eyes, see that Hide is hurting. The pain is killing them both.

 

“Kaneki,” Hide giggles. It sounds like music to Kaneki’s ears, and he so desperately wants to hear it again.

Kaneki’s nosing at Hide’s neck, taking in his scent, and Kaneki swears he’s never smelt anything so enticing before. It isn’t until Kaneki starts mouthing and lapping at his collarbone that Hide bats him away. “I’m trying to work, Ken,” Hide groans, “this essay isn’t going to write itself.”

“Please,” Kaneki kisses the sensitive spot behind his ear, and it’s enough to make Hide twitch in surprise, “for a little bit.”

 

Kaneki wants to drown in Hide. He feels so good inside, and it takes everything to not come right then and there. Hide’s eyes are shut tight, and it looks as if he’s uncomfortable.

“Are you okay?” Kaneki blows into Hide’s ear, and he shudders.

Hide hums, and his eyes slowly open. “D-Don’t stop, Ka-,” Kaneki thrusts inside, and Hide whimpers, eyes falling shut again.

It doesn’t take long for Hide to come. Kaneki swipes at the tip of his cock, flicks his nipples, and Hide unravels.

 

Sometimes Kaneki forgets Hide is hurting. It’s hard to think Hide is hurting, when he smiles so wide, when his eyes sparkle, when he’s so joyful. Kaneki wants Hide to be okay. Kaneki would give anything for Hide’s happiness.

Hide’s crying, sobbing, and it hurts Kaneki. “Hide,” Kaneki whispers into the dark. He can’t see much, the lights are off, but he can vaguely make out Hide’s figure.

And Hide – he let’s go. He throws himself into Kaneki’s arms, and _wails_. It sounds like the kind of cry Hide has been holding in for a long time. “I love you,” Kaneki mumbles into Hide’s hair.

Hide only cries harder.

 

“I really am sor-“

“Kaneki, enough,” Hide sighs. He sounds so tired.

“No,” Kaneki’s voice breaks, and it’s fucking _embarrassing_ , “look what I did to you.”

Everything inside Kaneki hurts. His throat feels tight, and suddenly it’s hard to breathe. His eyes sting, and his vision gets blurry, and – fuck – the tears fall. “Why won’t you hate m _e_?” Kaneki’s voice cracks, and he tries to hold in the sob, but it just _happens, and it’s loud, and ugly, and Kaneki wants the ground to swallow him whole._

Hide is holding him faster than he can blink, and he feels so comfortable and _right_ and _everything hurts because Hide doesn’t want him anymore he knows it he knows he knows he-_

“Ken – fuck I – _I love you._ ”

 

It’s hard at first, to talk to each other about the serious things. The thoughts won’t escape Kaneki’s mind. How it’s all his fault. How he’s disgusting and should die. How he doesn’t deserve Hide. It’s hard.

But when he talks to Hide about it, Hide’s eyes go soft, and he opens his arm for Kaneki, and it feels like _home_.

 

They'll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback/kudos is appreciated!


End file.
